AN ENGLISH market town has been named the 'worst place to live' in the entire country – by its own residents.
Pretty Aylesbury, Bucks, was handed the dubious honour after a tongue-in-cheek poll online.
And a handful of the town's 58,000 locals made some blistering comments about their home – with one saying anyone who moves in should unfurl "barbed wire" at their property.
In total, 110,000 people voted in the survey – and Aylesbury received 25 per cent more votes than its nearest runner-up, Huddersfield.
Residents blasted the traffic, perceived crime rate – and even their neighbours.
However, some of the criticism may be less than fair.
One commenter said: "If you’re a middle to upper-class family or individual looking to move to Aylesbury, then ensure you employ four full-time security guards and a dog and some barbed wire around your house."
In reality, Aylesbury had 54.52 crimes per 1,000 people in the year ending June 2021 – well below the average across the Thames Valley policing area. For comparison, Slough recorded 104.16 offences per 1,000.
Complaints about traffic are perhaps more reasonable, and a long-running battle to build a ring road continues.
One of those to respond to the poll on iLiveHere said: “As you enter into Aylesbury, you find yourself in a traffic jam.
'TRAFFIC JAMS ARE PART OF THE TOUR'
“Don’t worry, it’s all part of the tour. Being stuck in the traffic allows you to observe the magnificent beauty of all the ‘trashy citizens’ that live there.”
Huddersfield, in second place, was branded the "traffic light centre of England".
People suggested it suffers from crime issues and a struggling high street.
"Huddersfield should be avoided by all those who desire to keep their wallets, mobile phones, and most of all, their sense of smell," reads one contributor's comment.
"There’s nothing but pound shops and a few coffee shops. It’s polluted, unclean and full of idiots. It’s a horrible place to live," another post read.
But reporters at YorkshireLive have launched a staunch defence of their home, writing: "The people of Huddersfield are, by and large, friendly, down-to-earth people.
"For its size, they're quite varied too with people of different socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds.
"It is a place where strangers are comfortable greeting each other in the street."
MARKET TOWNS BLASTED
Luton in Bedfordshire was in third place, with residents describing it as an "absolute hole".
One local even branded it "England's toilet" – while another said the town centre "looks like something from Sean of the Dead".
A third joked: "The town itself is not easy on the eye. It makes Slough comparable to the playboy tax exile haven of Monaco."
In brighter news, the town is set to get a huge cash injection over the next few years.
It'll be handed £20million from the Government's Levelling Up fund, which will go towards development and regeneration.
Peterborough, which claimed the top spot for three years running, slipped down to fifth place, while Liverpool was in fouth.
Bolton in Greater Manchester, Corby in Northamptonshire, Jaywick in Essex, Slough in Berkshire and Bradford in Yorkshire make up the rest of the top 10.
But some towns say their placement is unfair.
Even the worst bits of Blackpool are like paradise compared to Jaywick
Grimsby – 18th on the list – has welcomed new architectural projects and seen dozens of new businesses open recently.
Matthew Head, who owns The Globe in nearby Cleethorpes, told GrimsbyLive: "Rankings like this don't get down to the unique opportunities and experiences that are on offer here."
And he said there's "so much exciting stuff going on" – adding: "I've lived here for four years now and I wouldn't move."
Leicester, in 32nd place, was labelled "so very woke, dahling" – as other commenters said there were "loads of morons on illegal electric scooters".
But the town has been on the up for years. It has an international profile thanks to its Premier League team and top-class uni.
Jaywick in Essex was described as being so bad that "even the worst parts of Blackpool seem like paradise".
One voter said: "There’s a reason why Ross Kemp visited what he dubbed as ‘Britain’s toughest seaside resort'."
The village, which has just 5,000 residents, is the most deprived place in the country.
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However, some locals blamed its bad image on the Channel 5 “poverty porn” fly-on-the-wall series Benefits By The Sea.
And local councillor Dan Casey told the Clacton Gazette he was "disgusted" by the news.
"People love living in Jaywick and there is a wonderful community atmosphere here that more affluent places just don't have," he said.
The top 50 worst places to live in England
- 50. Southampton
- 49. Staines
- 48. Plymouth
- 47. Rotherham
- 46. Doncaster
- 45. Swanley
- 44. Middlesbrough
- 43. Chichester
- 42. Boston
- 41. Barnsley
- 40. Paignton
- 39. Axminster
- 38. Leeds
- 37. Aldershot
- 36. Sunderland
- 35. High Wycombe
- 34. Coventry
- 33. Torquay
- 32. Leicester
- 31. Swindon
- 30. Andover
- 29. Stoke-on-Trent
- 28. Accrington
- 27. Walsall
- 26. Ipswich
- 25. Burnley
- 24. Hull
- 23. Abingdon
- 22. Barking and Dagenham
- 21. Portsmouth
- 20. Chatham
- 19. Dover
- 18. Grimsby
- 17. Croydon
- 16. Rochdale
- 15. Blackburn
- 14. Blackpool
- 13. Oldham
- 12. Canterbury
- 11. Didcot
- 10. Bradford
- 9. Slough
- 8. Jaywick
- 7. Corby
- 6. Bolton
- 5. Peterborough
- 4. Liverpool
- 3. Luton
- 2. Huddersfield
- 1. Aylesbury
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