Why try to embellish something’s greatness when you can just say it how it really is?
A woman on Facebook Marketplace certainly took this approach when she posted an advert for her old caravan.
Katie Perkins didn’t hold back on honesty when she listed the advert for the ‘ancient’ 32ft x 10ft caravan – and her hilariously frank description is just the tonic we need right now.
The item, located in Glastonbury, is listed for £100,000 and is described in the post as being ‘a tin shed on wheels.’
Kate explains that her family had been living in it while they built their ‘dream home,’ but also admits that it wasn’t very comfortable experience.
She says: ‘It is not pristine. It is not pretty.
‘It is f***ing hot in the summer. It is f***ing freezing in the winter. It even grows icicles on the inside.
‘It could do with full replacement of carpets. It needs a good bleach clean throughout.’
She goes on to reveal the amenities that come with the caravan, explaining it has a ‘s*** oven’, a ‘s*** hob’ and a ‘s*** fridge’, but does boast a ‘pretty decent microwave – albeit a cheap Morrisons one.
‘Pretty sure there’s even a slow cooker that was only used once?’
The post adds that there are a few extras lying around, like old shoes in the wardrobe, abstract art, old bottles of booze and beds that have been destroyed.
She goes onto say: ‘I’m sure if you are looking at it you can use it for something, I don’t give a f*** what.
‘I want offers… I don’t expect a lot but something would be nice.’
But Kate’s attitude then takes a turn.
She writes: ‘F*** it, if you truly want this f***ing monstrosity then I will trade it for a couple boxes of hubby’s favourite red wine – Jammy Red Roo of Jam Shed. Get this hunk of junk off my f***ing land.
‘I’d love to say it’s f***ing beautiful, but I’d be lying. I’d love to say I loved living in it, but I’d be lying. I’d love to say I’d look forward to a caravan holiday, but guess what…? I’d be lying.’
Kate says anyone that’s interested should get in touch – but only if they really want it and are willing ‘to come and get it,’ as she can’t stand ‘’f***ing time wasters.’
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