DEAR DEIDRE: MY adult stepdaughter gives her father chapter and verse about her mother’s life, even though they’ve been divorced for 30 years.
I have been married to him for 20 years. My stepdaughter is 35 and I’m 59. My husband is 62 and doesn’t need this stress in his life.
The other day, she said her mum was in hospital and asked my husband to call her.
But she was given painkillers and discharged within three hours.
It’s all so unnecessary. Am I being selfish?
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like your stepdaughter and her mother never got over the separation, but much of this dynamic is down to your husband’s responses.
His ex-wife is not his responsibility now and encouraging her to feel dependent does her no favours.
Help him have the words ready when one of them phones with a crisis, like: “I’m sorry, but I can’t see that I’ll be of any help.”
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