DEAR DEIDRE: LAST weekend I had the best sex of my life with my new girlfriend.
I dreamt of us having a brilliant future together, but now my ex has called to say she’s pregnant with my child.
I’ve loved my new girlfriend, who is 22, since school.
I thought I’d never have a chance with her. She was the one all the guys fancied but she never gave me a second look.
I’m 21 and my family tell me that I’m the “ugly duckling that turned into a swan”. I got my teeth got fixed and lost some weight. I now feel good about myself.
I got my first girlfriend a year ago. She’s 19 and nice enough but things got a bit stale for me and probably for her too, so I called time on our relationship two months ago.
Once lockdown was eased I started meeting friends in our local and the girl I loved from school started coming to the pub.
She recognised me one evening, came over and said: “Hello, how are you? When did you get so good-looking?” I couldn’t believe my luck.
We got chatting and we’ve been out on a handful of dates now.
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Last Saturday I went back to her place, we had sex and it was incredible. I was carried away thinking about all those evenings I would lie in bed dreaming of her, so it was extra-special.
She has started talking about us being a couple and I finally felt my life was going somewhere.
But now I’ve had this call from my ex saying she is almost certain she’s pregnant. If so, the baby is mine.
I don’t know what to do. I feel I’m too young to be a dad, for starters. I’m also worried I’ll have blown it with my new girlfriend if I tell her my ex is pregnant.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Under lockdown rules, if you all live with your families, you shouldn’t have had sex with these women anyway. However, given where you are now, you need a serious talk with your ex.
First off she must immediately have a pregnancy test. If it is negative, please still learn from this and be more responsible.
If it is positive, be sympathetic and understanding because it is 50 per cent down to you. But she is the one who is pregnant and she must decide how to handle it.
If you don’t see the two of you as a couple, you must make that clear so she knows she would be a single parent – though that shouldn’t stop you being a caring and supportive dad.
My e-leaflet on Unplanned Pregnancy will help you both.
If she wants to keep the baby, you will have to tell your new girlfriend. But it might not be a deal-breaker if you can prove to her you have learned the lessons and she is the one for you.
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