DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD a terrible row with my daughter after I stuck up for my granddaughter about a guy she is seeing.
This guy is a local tearaway.
My daughter tries to stop them meeting up. My granddaughter is 20 and her boyfriend is 22.
I’d also prefer it if my granddaughter didn’t see this guy, as she’s often covered in bruises.
I told her someone who hits her isn’t caring and things could escalate. She knows I’m worried about her.
But my daughter screams at me because she thinks I’m on my granddaughter’s side.
It is very upsetting. I’m not taking sides but I accept that she’s an adult.
I can’t tell her what to do. I’m her gran and 62.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The last thing you need is to fall out with your daughter.
It is only natural she is fretting but as you say, your granddaughter is an adult and is making her own choices.
The more your daughter intervenes, the more your granddaughter will dig her heels in.
It is frustrating but you can’t force your granddaughter to see sense.
All you can do is emphasise that you are there for her when she needs help.
Your daughter can find support at Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222).
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