DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER my sister had a disastrous age-gap relationship, I’m reluctant to tell my family I have fallen in love with someone nearly 20 years older than me.
We have worked together for six years and started dating three years ago.
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He moved in last year and my family still don’t know about him.
I’m 31 and he’s 49. He is getting pretty fed up and I’m worried he’ll walk if I don’t come clean.
My sister is two years older than me and, when she was 19, she dated a man who was 33.
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I still remember how upset my parents were about their relationship and the awful fallout when they broke up because my sister wasn’t ready to have children.
It was such an upsetting time for them and for her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are your own person, with your own different relationship.
If you want your relationship to develop, you need to be able to be honest and open.
Do project yourself forward 20 years though and think long and hard about how you will feel when you are 50 and your boyfriend is a pensioner.
So long as you both are on the same page with regards to your values and life goals, it really doesn’t matter how big the age gap is.
Tell your family you have met someone special, tell them about his qualities and ask them to give him a chance.
I’m sending you my support pack, Age Gaps, to help.
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