I am married but I feel my gym lover cheated on ME after he bedded my cousin

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM married but have had wonderful sex with a man from the gym.

But now that he has slept with my cousin, I feel like he’s cheated on me.

I’m 32 with no kids. My husband is 33 and he’s not the same person I married at all. He never pays me attention or says I look nice. In fact, he’s often quite rude.

I was feeling so low about life in general, my marriage, looks and everything else. My cousin said it would do me good to get out of the house and get some exercise. We both joined a gym and I found she was right.

I’ve met some nice people and one guy in particular. He’s 35, super-fit and really great.

He was flirting with me and my cousin, which flattered us both. She is 29 and still single but, to be honest, a bit overweight. This bloke then started messaging me but I didn’t let on to her because I knew that she wouldn’t approve.

I knew he messaged her too, but she is single and free to go out with whoever she likes.

One evening I went to the gym on my own and this guy’s full attention was focused on me.

At the end of the session he invited me back to his flat as he said he wanted to give me a gym ball he didn’t need.

I think we both knew he’d be giving me more. We had crazy sex in his bed.

Since then we’ve done it a few times and I’m falling in love. I know he likes me but he says he fancies my cousin as well.

I felt really hurt when she told me he’d taken her back to his flat and they’d had sex.

She says she won’t see him again as he isn’t her type.

I have told him I’m very upset that he decided to sleep with my cousin like that. He said he was sorry, but clearly didn’t regret it at all. I feel like he’s cheated on me but I know that’s absurd as I’m the one who is married and cheating on him.


MORE than a million children live in a stepfamily so have experienced the break-up of their parents’ relationship – then a new rival for the love of the parent they’re living with.

No wonder there can be tensions.

My leaflet on Stepfamily Problems explains how to help everyone.

For a copy, email me at [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: Sorry, it is your husband you are cheating on here, not the guy from the gym.

He is just a player, with nothing to offer except sex on the side and a good chance that you are going to get hurt. Forget about him and focus your mind on your marriage instead. That sounds in very poor shape.

How long ago did you notice a change in your husband and the way he feels towards you? Is he working too hard or is he sad that you have not had children? Have the pair of you simply got tired and bored?

Do not let things drift. Ask him what he wants and why is he acting that way.

The pair of you need to share fun in the present and plans for the future as well. Try the ideas in my e-leaflet Your Relationship MOT.

Keep up with the gym and ask your husband to join in.

But do not put up with rudeness or let things go on like this.

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