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9 baby boy names that need to be banned

NOBODY should be able to tell you what to name your new baby boy… Within reason.

However, there are a few baby boy names that should probably be put out to pasture.

They’ve had their time in the sun, but if you name your child any of the names in this article in 2019, it may raise a few eyebrows.

It’s not that these names are bad in any way, just that they carry a certain weight of age and experience with them that shouldn’t be placed upon a newborn.

You’ll see what I mean. Let me take you through the nine boy names that shouldn’t be given to a newborn baby.

 

9) Roger

Unless your surname is Moore, Roger is now off the cards.

Also, on the very rare occasion that your baby is born with a raised eyebrow and deep voice, you can name him Roger.

In all other instances it is now banned.

 

8) Albert

Little baby Albert. Doesn’t really sit well does it?

That’s because you’ve only ever met someone called Albert who watches ‘Doctors’ in the middle of the day and enjoys wearing a nice pair of corduroy trousers as a treat.

Also, all Alberts will have a piece of cabbage on their chin 80 per cent of the time.

 

7) Desmond

If you name your baby Desmond, you need to have a good long look at yourself in the mirror.

Poor little thing doesn’t stand a chance.

Even the abbreviation ‘Des’ is going to ruin their childhood years.

In fact, until the age of 67 precisely, little Desmond will be ridiculed.

However, after 67 years old, he’ll be a diamond geezer.

 

6) Frank

‘Frankie’ seems to be making a little bit of a come back in recent years.

That’s fine, but calling a little baby boy ‘Frank’ is weird.

You’ve basically aged him 60 years and he’s already on the plane to Marbella to retire.

 

5) Malcolm

There’s no real abbreviation for Malcolm, so you’re going to have to go down the full name route.

Unless the baby is going to be introducing himself like ‘Hi, the name’s Malcolm, nice to meet you,’ accompanied with a firm handshake, I just can’t picture it.

 

4) Martin

I challenge you to name me a famous Martin that’s under the age of 45.

Go on, I’ll give you some time. That’s because there aren’t any.

If you name your baby Martin, there is a 96 per cent chance they’ll become an accountant in a medium sized company based on the M4.

 

3) Geoff/Jeff

If you name your baby Jeff or Geoff, he will grow up to be a bit of a d**k.

Sorry, it’s science.

 

2) Steve

You can get away with Stephen — that’s a decent name.

However, don’t you dare start calling the baby Steve before they are 37 years old.

There’s just no need to do that to them.

 

1) Gary

Similar to Stephen, Gareth is a nice name.

You immediately think they will be a solid bloke in the future.

However, as soon as they become Gary, they will become ‘one of the lads.’

They’ll always be the first to suggest getting 8am pints at the airport and first to go a bit too far at the Christmas party.

We have enough Garys in the world already.

 

What names do you think should be consigned to the history books? Let us know in the comments.

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