Soapwatch with JACI STEPHEN: Desperate Keanu’s baptism of fire
- This week in EastEnders, there’s more drama in Walford as Keanu takes on a job
- READ MORE: EastEnders SPOILER: Linda is left floored
Don’t you just wish that someone in Walford would win the lottery and spread their winnings around a bit? Every week, there’s at least one person with a money problem.
Now it’s Keanu, who, on the morning of Albie’s christening, is reminded by Ravi that he could make big money from a delivery job. Put out by the flash present Martin and Zack have bought, Keanu takes up Ravi’s offer – transporting drugs in white goods.
What could possibly go wrong? Late for the christening, he rushes out of the church when the van alarm goes off, but the police are waiting there to arrest him.
Oh, Keanu. Wouldn’t it just have been easier to buy your son a little teddy bear?
On this week’s Soapwatch: In Watford, Keanu hangs out Sharon and with Albie at his christening. Any criminal know-how Keanu has acquired is as a result of hanging onto his mother’s apron strings
Down at the police station, Karen insists Sharon do something – so Sharon phones a solicitor.
That’s never good news. Walford’s lawyers come second only to the police in terms of incompetence.
Put them in the same room and it’s Fraggle Rock meets The Muppet Show.
Will Keanu take up DS Barnes’s offer to grass up his bosses? Convinced Keanu has dropped him in it, Ravi takes revenge.
Next thing you know, Keanu’s in hospital, where Karen accuses Sharon of forcing him into crime. Says the woman who was once arrested for assault.
Will it be plain sailing for Sharon and Keanu? ‘I’d like to think they can find a way,’ says Letitia Dean (Sharon). ‘They have Albie and love each other.’ I predict the Titanic kind of sailing.
Any criminal know-how Keanu has acquired is as a result of hanging onto his mother’s apron strings.
The Square is in party mode – again – in preparation for a coronation knees-up, and Sonia is disappointed when she discovers that Reiss’s big plans for a party are not for her birthday but for King Charles.
It’s hard to imagine Reiss summoning up the energy to get out of bed, let alone any excitement in expectation of the big day.
Please, somebody, sort out that beard and send him to a barber. Or a topiarist, which may be what’s needed.
When Kim encourages Denise to win back Jack, Denise invites herself along to the kids’ escape room activity. Interesting. Isn’t most of their time spent trying to find a room to escape from Denise?
When Tim finds out that his mum is off to Vegas to marry Stephen, he does everything he can to stop her. Pretending he’s OK with their plans, he lures Elaine into his taxi and speeds off, holding her hostage.
Will he stop the wedding? They say that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Maybe Tim needs to convince Elaine that the only thing likely to be staying in Vegas is her corpse.
Or maybe she’s not the only one on Stephen’s hit list. Having been eyeing up Jenny again recently, Stephen is annoyed when he sees businessman Owen flirting with her.
When Tim (pictured) finds out that his mum is off to Vegas to marry Stephen, he does everything he can to stop her
You know what happens to people who upset Stephen, Owen? I’d head for B&Q to stock up on nails if I were you; you’ll need them for your coffin.
Paul’s financial worries have led him back into a life of crime, but is he heading back to prison when Damon leads him into a trap? So much for Damon changing.
And he’s still sniffing round Sarah like a pig on a truffle hunt. When Sarah takes Adam for a birthday lunch at the Bistro (she knows there are other restaurants, right?), Damon joins them.
He enjoys seeing Sarah squirm, especially when Nick and Adam vent their fury upon discovering she is one of the locals opposing their late licence. The only licence Sarah will ever condone is the licence to get her kit off.
A whirlwind wedding trip
You’d think that after Geoff, Corrie’s Elaine would have been cautious with Stephen. But in agreeing to go to Vegas to wed, she hasn’t so much thrown caution to the wind as into a tornado. Why?
Paula Wilcox (Elaine) says she has been hurt by her son Tim’s attitude that ‘she’s too old to be attractive to anybody’. Plus, she says, ‘A whirlwind marriage is magical and she’s swept away.’
Where Stephen’s concerned, she’s likely to be swept away down the nearest river.
Mary finally sees cagey Faye’s true colours…
Most things in the village are too good to be true, so when Mary hooked up with Faye there were more red flags than there will be Union Jacks, come 6 May. Mary is still on cloud nine, though – well, not so much on it, as way, way, way above it and off with the fairies.
So she’s unhappy when Suzy voices suspicions following Faye’s caginess over a bank transfer for the auction fund.
When Suzy offers more evidence, Mary confronts Faye, who reveals her true nature, and after a scuffle over an envelope of money, she leaves Mary concussed. It takes only a moment for love to go from being in the air to flat out on the ground.
Most things in the village are too good to be true, so when Mary hooked up with Faye there were more red flags than there will be Union Jacks, come 6 May
Is Belle in for a similar awakening in the light of her new romance with Tom? When Tom bumps into Jimmy and Nicola at the Hide, Jimmy’s upset that his nephew has been avoiding him.
With Jimmy still struggling with his dad’s death, is Belle’s affair doomed before it’s barely begun?
There is more love on the horizon when Arthur and Marshall arrange a first date.
And is romance back on the cards for Chas and Paddy when they share a moment? Good grief no, Paddy. Throw away the deck.
There are tears as the village bids farewell to Cathy. Remember the play Cathy Come Home? This one’s Cathy Stay Away.
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